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Filmrezension: Warcraft, 2016 – ★½

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Amazing. I knew the movie was going to be bad-ish, given what everyone said about it. But I did not expect this. Nothing works here, nothing. Not even Fimmel bringing his Ragnar impression to this fantasy „world“.

Am I really the first one to say this?? Anyway, this movie is like when you ordered Lord of the Rings on Wish.

Filmreview: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, 2019 – ★½

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I was such a sucker for going to the theater for this. Holy moly.

This is lifeless, heartless fan service in the worst possible way.

I mean, Chewbacca finally got his medal. Cool, right? Christ on a lunch box.

The only thing missing here is for characters who weren’t there or even born yet when it happened to randomly start discussing wether Han shot first or not.

(Thinking about this, I bet you there was a discussion amongst the writers and the director at some point wether Kylo Ren could/should force-magic flashback to a moment of his father’s life and land right there WATCHING HIS FATHER BEING A BADASS, bro.)

Back then, about 30 minutes or so into the first one of this trilogy, I realised what Abrams was doing and I thought it was a stupid gimmick. I’m not a huge fan of Johnson’s Last of the Jedi, either. So, both movies kinda already showed me this trilogy is not working for me personally. But at least, LotJ gave me at times (not always, mind you) the feeling of watching a story instead of a product.

But the redconning here, the ‘ok you don’t like this female character, you even harassed the actress, fine, we’ll diminish her role’ shit here, the ‘no, of course Rey is the daughter/granddaughter of someone important’ nonsense, it’s mindboggling. Nothing holds together, there is no heart, no sense of wonder, no weirdness. (For me as a kid, it was Star Wars’ seeming weirdness of that world, wholly realized, that drew me in. It felt like nothing else. (I was a kid.) This new trilogy was unoriginal. Johnson tried to do something new, something original with the second movie. I applaud that, but I also think his ideas were not a good fit for this particular franchise. (Or maybe it would have worked out great if someone would have been willing to follow through on that vision, who knows.))

So why, um, stroking my chin here, did you go to the cinema to watch this, then, hm? Well, let us go back to the first sentence, my friend.

Anyway, in the end, it’s just a movie. Don’t get upset about the utter mediocrity and, frankly, the cowardice of JJ Abrams. Don’t get upset about this review. Don’t get upset about your childhood memories of a movie experience getting tainted by a sequel. (how is that even possible? are you alright? do you need someone to talk to?)

Put entertainment in its place. Get upset about real things. Take a walk. 🙂

via Letterboxd – marcelweiss https://letterboxd.com/marcelweiss/film/star-wars-the-rise-of-skywalker/

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